Note: This post was originally published over 3 years ago. But it fits quirky, so here it is again.
Oops, I was spelling it wrong; just looked the word malarky up in the dictionary thinking it would be fun to know the exact meaning before using it my blog. Lo and behold, it is M-A-L-A-R-K-E-Y, and it means nonsense. Can you guess where I am going with this?
So, I had heard that McDonald’s french fries and hamburger don’t readily decompose; that they are so riddled with preservatives and chemicals that they can stay indefinitely on a shelf and not go bad. That just stretched the boundaries of believability in my mind and I had to see it for myself. So nine days ago I bought a cheeseburger (plain) Happy Meal. While letting it cool I played with the toy, then set the burger and fries on a plate under a glass bowl. The fun toy adorns the top.
(I have heard that McDonald’s defends itself saying their food will decompose “given enough time”. But what does that mean? And did they really say that? Not much of a defense.)
ANYWAY:
I wasn’t really paying close attention to the above displayed items because I heard one lady has had them for 12 years and they still look the same. So I wasn’t really expecting any mold or decomp activity yet. My scientific model is pretty sad, lacking in structure and precision, and well yes, a few other things to be really scientific. But on about the 5th or 6th day I saw fuzzy little somethings growing on a few of the fries. The burger looked and smelled fine, but felt a little stale.
Day 8 I checked my Experiment again. The bun had bloomed. I had to go to work though, so that was that for that day.
So, now we are on Day 9 when I had more time to focus on this. The bun and fries proved themselves to be very capable sustainers of certain kinds of life. But what about the meat and the cheese. I couldn’t easily pry the bun away from the patty and the cheese to clearly assess, however from a cursory inspection they appeared to both not yet be in a state of decomposition. This is when I used my handy, heavily-relied-on words of wisdom, “Good Enough”, had the Experiment photographed by a family photographer, and threw it away.
I feel sorry for McDonald’s being so viciously attacked. It is obvious that they are being falsely maligned. Now the truth is out. It is perfectly healthy to eat. If you are a spore.
You're hysterical! Now how about a Twinkie?